It’s easy to have acquaintances, it’s easy to have casual friends and a lot of them. It’s easy, and nice, and tidy, and low investment.
Just one out of many beautiful Bend, OR sunsets.
Frankly there’s nothing wrong with it either. But those casual friends are not really friends you know. Real friends take investment, deeper friendships take work. They don’t just happen overnight. It’s a long process that takes time spent, AND time passed.
You can’t have lots and lots of deep relationships, but you can have a few, and you should.
In today’s social media driven world very few people are taking the time to invest in relationships anymore. They opt instead for what my wife and I call the “5 minute friendship pump” This is when you bump into someone, you know, a friend, and you both feel obligated to do just a little bit of investment, just about 5 min. How are things, the job, the family, the weather. Nothing too serious though, that would just be awkward. After all, it’s just a 5 min friendship pump…
“Hey how are you doing?”
“Great, how about you guys?”
“Oh fine, just busy busy busy!”
“I know right, life is just crazy right now, how’s the job?”
“Oh pretty good, working on few big projects, it’s a lot of hours of course, how about you?”
“Oh not too bad, things are really picking up these days.’
“Well I gotta run, good seeing you’
“You too, we should get together some time.”
“Yea, let’s do that!”
“Ok, bye then”
That my friends is the 30 second version of the friendship pump.
Why? Why are we so afraid of real relationships? Why are we afraid of putting in the effort?
Straight up fear.
Fear of rejection, fear of failure, but most of all, fear of putting yourself out there and getting hurt. It’s a scary world out there, one in which best friends can and will sometimes stab you in the back.
So what then, just keep it superficial? Just make sure you really never risk the real investment, the real friendships?
Of course not, you’ll never have as good of a life without the close relationships, without sharing it with like minded people that will travel the road of life with you, learn from you, and teach you. To adventure together. Sure, you very well may get burned, but then again, you might not. So what if you do get burned. You can always start again, but if you don’t invest in real relationships you’ll never have the opportunity of experiencing the richness of life you could.
Relationships REAL relationships are worth the patience and effort. Invest well.
Inspiration from the Instagram post: https://www.instagram.com/p/BTK9qurDFac/?taken-by=chrisbehnke
Relationships require patience and effort.
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